The principal at Schoenberg Family Law Group in San Francisco, Debra Schoenberg brings over 35 years of experience in family law. A certified family law trial specialist, she is also a fellow of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers and a frequent lecturer in the field.
AALM: What initially drew you to family law, and what has kept you passionate about it?
DS: I was drawn to law, as a whole, because of the intellectual challenges it offers, and the deeply human side – the opportunity to support people who are going through difficult times or fighting for their rights.
Entering law school in 1982, I imagined I would dedicate my career to representing the disenfranchised. But the summer after my first year, clerking for a boutique matrimonial firm in upstate New York, I found my true calling. I learned firsthand how logistically complex and emotionally intense family law matters could be. And I realized what a profound impact an attorney can have on a client’s experience during a very difficult, tumultuous and vulnerable time. It’s about guiding people through the dissolution process with attentiveness, genuine compassion, and strong communication; arming them with the information they need to feel prepared and confident; helping them stay calm and clear-headed; and smoothly, skillfully managing the logistics so they can focus on family, future, rebuilding, and moving forward.
Family law matters are some of the most sensitive legal issues a person can face, and an attorney’s approach can make all the difference. Our firm has handled more than 15,000 cases over the past 35 years.
AALM: Family law can be incredibly complex and emotionally charged. How do you balance legal strategy with empathy when representing clients in high-conflict situations?
DS: This work is not just my profession—it’s my passion. From an intellectual standpoint, I enjoy the attention to detail and the strategy side of a case, devising creative, highly customized solutions to thorny problems.
I also love that the job is always changing. Every case is unique and presents its own challenges, whether it’s a contentious custody dispute or a high-stakes divorce involving complex financial issues.
But what really keeps it so engaging is the human aspect—that it’s about relationships.
Obviously, this work is about relationships in the sense that we’re helping people navigate the dismantling of a marriage relationship, which can be very painful and complicated. But it’s also about helping them keep the split as amicable as possible, which, ideally, helps preserve their ability to work together and co-parent into the future.
It’s assisting them in creating a sustainable parenting plan and figuring out the new shape of their family. It’s about protecting children from conflict and fostering the parent-child relationship by achieving positive custody and visitation arrangements.
And it’s about the crucial attorney-client connection. Often, as a marriage is ending, communication breaks down, and that’s lonely and frustrating. So a really important aspect of my job is making sure my clients feel listened to and really heard.
The work is also about our evolving, expanding understanding and definition of family, in society and in law. That’s a very exciting relationship aspect.
AALM: How do you recharge outside of work, and has that balance played a role in your long-term success in such an emotionally demanding field?
DS: My children are a constant source of motivation for me. I want them to grow up in a world where families, however they are defined, and whatever form they take, can thrive emotionally and financially. I’m also inspired by the resilience of my clients. Divorce is difficult, but I love to see people flourishing on the other side, and I feel truly honored to be able to help them get there.
For more information, visit sflg.com.
